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and THIS is why so many kids these days are pussies

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Honestly,  I cannot even believe that I am writing this post, but after I posted a pic of a text conversation with my son on Facebook and then  some of the comments, I had to drop everything and share this with you.

As you may or may not know, I have one highly gifted child, one with a learning disability, and one  who is fairly smart and extremely hard working.   The latter two receive A’s and B’s on every report card and progress report.  Number One gets C’s.  And sometime’s D’s.   Wanna guess which one is “off the charts gifted”?   Yeah.. that one.

When I was working, I went to a management conference and the speaker said what employees want more than anything are clearly outlined goals and expectations AND the freedom to make their own decisions within the outlined parameters.

THAT is how I try to raise my kids.  They have clearly defined expectations for behavior and academic performance.  They know what is expected of them and they understand the consequences for not adhering to our family rules.  They are free to make their own choices along the way.

For example, electronics (XBox, DS, iPhones, etc) are a privilege, not a right.  As long as they exhibit good behavior and work hard in school, they basically have card blanche to do whatever they want.  If they mistreat each other, they lose the privilege.  If they slack off in school, they lose the privilege.   It’s a pretty simple concept.  My kids have understood it since they were young.  However, it has thrown some of my Facebook readers for a fucking loop.

Number One (13) has not had access to his cell phone, any video games, or YouTube since January.  SIX MONTHS- no electronics.  As I mentioned above, he is extremely bright.  He has zero interest in school.  He receives 0% s on homework and 100%s on tests.  I do not punish for grades.  There is no grounding.  He simply loses his privileges.

He has been in North Carolina at camp with the church youth group for the past week.  I allowed him to take his phone so we could be in touch during the 12 hour drive there and back.

Exhibit A:  

(shared on Facebook with the caption “But it’s summer and I love you”. )

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Exhibit B:

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Um… What in the fuckity fuck?  If ‘passing’ is our goal, that explains a lot about the current state of our society and the American education system.

Exhibit C:

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“In this day and age”.. um, you mean the day and age of uber-competitive college admissions, high unemployment rates and college graduates working in food-service and retail because jobs in their sector aren’t available?   Got it!  (And I’m not even going to tackle the spelling and grammar here)

 Exhibit D:

(When questioned by another reader about how old her kids are)

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You know who says stupid shit like this?  People with young kids.   You know when I quit saying “I will NEVER (do, allow, accept, etc)”?  When my firstborn was about 6 months old and I realized that I didn’t know shit.

Note:  This is by no means an attack on parents of young children.. We were ALL there..  But I promise you.. statements like the one above are not only ignorant, judgmental and insulting; they are so full of naiveté, it makes me want to kick her in the taint and hug her at the same time.    Guess what?  Now.. this is important.. I can hold on while you get a paper and pen if you need to write this shit down……..   I’m waiting…………   Okay..  Ready?  Cool.

Not only will your opinions and ways of parenting change ONE FUCKTILLION times during the course of your child-rearing, you will most likely have different parenting methods for each child.  You will be like a a human multi-tool, whipping out whichever method works for that exact situation with that particular child on that specific day.

** Exhibits A through D were all written by the same person defending mediocrity.   The following exhibits (E-H) are written by a different person who believes that children’s asses should be wiped with love and Charmin until they have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are capable of doing it themselves perfectly, leaving nary a skid mark.

Exhibits E-H:

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2

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I don’t have much to say about this one.  I parent my way, she parents hers.   However, I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit beside my 6 foot tall manchild watching him complete assignments, holding his hand and telling him what a super job he’s doing.   That’s not how we roll around here.  I am confident that all three of my children will become contributing members of society.  I HOPE that they are able to contribute by doing something they LOVE.  What Number One loves is Oceanography and Marine Biology.   Since I’m not willing to go to college with him, he has a few very short years to learn the importance of completing tasks and assignments whether he wants to do them or not.  You know what that’s called after school is over?  A job.  It’s called a fucking job.  MY job is to raise him to the best of my ability.  His job is to do his fucking work.

{Sigh}.  Rant over.   Wait.. rant almost over.  One last thing…  of the 100+ comments on this Facebook post, 90% of them were positive, and by “positive”, I don’t mean agreeing with me and my parenting 100%.  I mean understanding that , for the most part, we are all in this parenting thing together and that we all do what we believe to be the best for our children.  We have different goals.   We have different methods.  That doesn’t make us enemies.   It makes some of us (them) look like assholes and idiots,  but not enemies.

I would never presume to tell someone else how to raise their children.  It stuns me that the people who are quickest to condemn other’s parenting, always seem to be the same ones who believe that their snowflake is more special and unique than all the other snowflakes.

NOW- Rant Over!


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